How Family Support Can Help Mental Health Recovery Featuring Major General Gregg F. Martin, Retired, and Maggie Ryan

When navigating a new mental health diagnosis, there are a lot of ways someone’s life can change. If family support is available, the journey to recovery and stabilization can feel at least a little less challenging. In this episode, NAMI CEO Daniel H. Gillison, Jr. is joined by Major General Gregg F. Martin, retired, and his wife Maggie Ryan to explore the connections between family support, caregiving, and recovery from mental illness. During this conversation, listeners will hear about what types of support caregivers want, how families can address mental health stigma, and advice about navigating a mental health diagnosis on the journey to recovery and stabilization. 

Hear more about Gregg F. Martin's story in episode 57, Leading and Living With Bipolar Disorder.

You can find additional episodes of this NAMI podcast and others at nami.org/podcast.

"Hope Starts With Us" is a podcast by NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. It is hosted by NAMI CEO Daniel H. Gillison, Jr.

Episode production is provided by NAMI staff, including Traci Coulter and Connor Larsen.

Transcript

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And I thought to myself, I can't do this anymore because the bottom line is somebody else out there is feeling the way I'm feeling. And if I open up and share this and not be in the darkness about it, that I know that there is solution. It takes people around you. Welcome to Hope Starts With Us, a podcast by NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. My name is Dan Gillison and I'm the CEO for NAMI. NAMI started this podcast because we believe that hope starts with us. All of us. Hope starts with us talking about mental health. Hope starts with us making information accessible. Hope starts with us providing resources and practical advice. Hope starts with us sharing our stories and hope starts with us breaking the stigma. If you or a loved one is struggling with a mental health condition and have been looking for hope. We made this podcast for you. Hope starts with all of us. Hope is a collective. We hope that each episode, with each conversation brings you into that collective so you know you are not alone. So let me introduce our guest. And I am so, so excited to talk to this person today. Carnie Wilson, born into the music world, has made her own mark on the entertainment world as a singer, TV personality, and actress. She is a founding member of the pop trio Wilson Phillips. Beyond her music career, Carnie has appeared on television as a host and guest star, and even made a memorable cameo in the comedy film Bridesmaids. Her diverse talents continue to inspire and entertain audiences worldwide. She loves cooking and baking with her family and resides in California with her family. Carnie Wilson has always been an advocate for helping and empowering others. In the past, she's openly shared her experiences with postpartum depression and addiction and found strength by being open about her mental health challenges, as well as seeking treatment and support. Now, it means so much to her to be able to use her voice to be open about her own mental health journey, with the hope that she can help people facing their own challenges. Hope starts with us. All of us. Carnie, thank you for joining this podcast. Would you start by telling us a little bit more about yourself, such as your personal interests or activities that you enjoy? First of all, thank you for that beautiful introduction. Wow. And I'm really, really glad to be here with you, Dan. I am a big supporter of everything that you just said, and it's like I was thinking those exact words, and I just want to say that just before I get to my thing, "hope" is one of my favorite words ever. And I think that, especially now, these days, we need more hope. And there is hope. So I never, ever, if we can start it and end this with hope, I think that's the most important thing. It's funny, growing up in a famous family, I think that you automatically are perceived a certain way to the public and you just never know what people who they are, how they are, their family, all that, all those dynamics until you go to their home or you are a part of their lives. So it's not always what it appears to be. And maybe that is with everyone actually, because I like to look at everyone on an even playing field. We are all humans. We really are all the same. So I look for the similarities, not the differences. So by me being very public about my story all these years, I think that it has, I don't know what the word is, humanized me or made people feel like they can relate to me as just a human being. So, yeah, I mean, my childhood was different in many respects. I did grow up in a household with a father who struggled with mental illness. And on my mother's side, my grandmother May, she had depression and anxiety from way back when I can remember. She was living with, you know, some kind of depression for as long as I can remember. And she sort of, like, would go into a room for a few days and have what my mom was saying, she's having a mental breakdown. And this is the, you know, the 50s generation, you know, and that sort of era, 50s and 60s where we've come so far, we know our resources are so much better now, right Dan? And back then we just thought grandma was really sensitive. My daddy was, you know, this Beach Boy, creating all this music, bringing so much love into the world and inside, I think he was just really, you know, going through it and realizing that whether it was, you know, psychotic episodes, or voices or drugs, that addiction, whatever it was that was fueling, his mental illness. There was treatment in many ways, but he never really got it. He never got that real full treatment and diagnosis until years and years later in his 50s, where he was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. And he just-- he has-- he blows my mind. He continues to blow my mind. He passed away in June and it's been so hard. But I don't think I've ever even been more aware of the impact that his music has had. His story has had, the power in his sort of survival skills. He was the strongest person I've ever known and outlived and survived everybody on his side of the family, which is just beautiful and mind blowing. But he was also a very spiritual man. And you know that song "God Only Knows," I one time I asked him, I said, "that's a love song, right? What's that song about?" He said, no, no, that's a spiritual song. I said, "what?" He says, "no, that's a that's about God. That's about spirituality." So I've learned a lot from him in my life about how, as I had been faced with the genetics, being predisposed to depression, anxiety, I've been predisposed to that. And I know who I am, and I've taken my challenges in my own hands. And it's never been like a linear thing. It's up, it's down. It's sideways, it's right, it's left. It's, you know. But I've learned so much, especially in the last year with the work that I've been doing for my campaign. I know we'll get into that. That was a very long answer to your question, but I actually didn't even touch on my interests. And, I mean, I'm 57 years old. I have two daughters, Lola and Lucy. This last year has been, it's been a whopper. It truly, openly can say that. It's been a whopper for my family, for all of us. And the beautiful part about it, Dan, is that we have collectively been so open about it to each other. We have all seeked treatment. My kids are in therapy. That is that is fantastic. As you've shared a bit about your family. And Carnie, you know, if we go back to Wilson Phillips and us being the consumers of you and your family's music, you know, we see you sitting in the audience and you on the stage. And so we're looking at the cover of your book, and what you've just done is you've taken us into the table of contents and the chapters, and that's what we're talking about in terms of families, really, and individuals really understanding what their makeup is in its entirety. So, thank you for sharing that with us. Would you share a little bit about your mental health journey and what inspires you to talk about your experience? Because you don't have to do it. Thank you for doing it. First of all, thank you because you are helping so many. But what inspired you to talk about your experience and from that experience, what would you like to share as a part of your story? I was born to connect with people. That's the truth. And the opposite of connection to me is isolation, really. And I know from my own experience, when I was in that very dark, dark place of addiction and depression and feeling so isolated and not-- and feeling the shame, I felt shame. You know, there's pressure. Everybody has pressure in their lives. We all have pressure. And it can vary and it can come from different places. But the root of it all is that I couldn't, I couldn't go any longer. I wanted to live, I wanted to live. And the more--and when I when I sought my treatment, I got sober. I started really delving into, what was happening inside of me, you know? Why was I wanting to isolate? Why did I feel the shame? And I thought to myself, I can't do this anymore because the bottom line is somebody else out there is feeling the way I'm feeling. And if I open up and share this and not be in the darkness about it, that I know that there is solution. It takes people around you. There is a--I reached a desperate, place. I reached total, like, surrender. I came to a surrender that I needed help. And I think that people struggle with that because they think it's weak or shows vulnerability. But I really believe that people will actually find their strength and their courage in admitting that they need their help and that they're vulnerable and whatever is going on in their brain, whether it's this physical thing where you know that the dopamine or the, you know, all the neurons or the synapse, whatever that is, you know, you can seek the treatment that you need. And it all starts with the honesty inside of you and your heart reaching But when you do discover these things about yourself, you know, there are moments when you can feel like-- I have to support him. I'm doomed. You know, I can't have to support him. years. have to support him. out for help, knowing that there are, have to support him. you know, organizations like you have that offer the resources that there are people in the same boat, but we can't get anywhere until we raise your hand have to support him. and say, "I need help." And I am not alone. And there is a way to get better. And also what I realize is that, you know, there's no graduation here. There's a school. We're all in it together. We're all students, but there is no graduation. have to support him. So we like to say at NAMI, "meet people where they are, not where we want have to support him. the vulnerability, and the vulnerability is strength. them to be," and making the vulnerability, and the vulnerability is strength. sure people know they're not alone. the vulnerability, and the vulnerability is strength. and have dinner and sit around the table the vulnerability, and the vulnerability is strength. and talk about, you know, how was your day? How was your day? My father ate his steak in three seconds and was playing the piano already. It was an artistic environment. It was a fabulous and, you know, thriving environment musically. There were lots of people coming in and out of the house. And so I also went to a private school that had the vulnerability, and the vulnerability is strength. And I want to take that number down. I want to encourage people to, you know, look in that mirror and say, what am I noticing? What am I seeing here? Get that help and reach out. And that there is treatment. For me, it's-- the campaign is probably the most people thing I've ever been involved with, simply because I know we're making the vulnerability, and the vulnerability is strength. know, on both sides. So I could have sat around and said, the vulnerability, and the vulnerability is strength. for the birth of my children. He went through so much. And I'm just so, I'm so honored to be his daughter. And it just-- it's so beautiful that I can continue singing his songs, you know, carry on the tradition. And it makes me so emotional because I think about, you know, when I see the people in the audience, you know, and they come to these shows and the vulnerability, and the vulnerability is strength. that. And to each of them. the vulnerability, and the vulnerability is strength. It is not weakness. So thank you for that. And it's so important that It is so important to hold on for one more day. It's important to hold on. Although, I want to say we don't have to hold on anymore to get help. So I will say that. But we have to hold on to our--my faith is big. I'm a very spiritual person. I remain teachable, I remain hopeful, I acknowledge that it's baby steps. I repeat it for the audience and for us to repeat it for the audience to hear it. Vulnerability is strength. It is not weakness. You are not alone. So, and I'm just going over some of the things you said because it's so powerful and is so important to the audience. So thank you, Carnie. May I ask you this? You currently are made me feel such a relief. And, you know, in terms of what I've been doing the last year, it really, really has opened my own eyes to my own anxiety. So it's not so much really depression that I felt the last year because, because I've been involved with connecting with Carnie Campaign, you know, as a spokesperson for Neurocrine Biosciences, this has been-- it has been incredible to raise this awareness for mental health, being the advocate, but also TD, tardive dyskinesia, which by the way is, it's a visual condition. It is uncontrollable movements that people that are already suffering from mental illness, they take these medications that help them physical thing that people see. One of the things that I've been talking about with the ambassadors who and the patients living with TD that we've connected with is that I once had, twice actually, had Bell's palsy. So it's freezing of the muscles on one side of the face. It's a neurological condition, but I remember having to be in public, not being able to move one side of my face. I even walked down a red carpet for an ABC they feel judged. And that's what I'm trying to break through that and let them know that, you know, we have compassion. We have patience for people that need, they need that. And it's here, and I am a part of being an advocate with them. You know, it is so important to, again, share your story, but to be an ambassador and to let people know why you're an ambassador and that you're Text "NAMI" to 62640 or dial 800-950-NAMI. Or if you are experiencing an immediate suicide, substance use, or mental health crisis, please call or text 988 to speak with the trained support specialist or visit 988lifeline.org. I'm Dan Gillison, your host. Thanks for listening and be well.