Mental Health On and Off the Field Featuring Tenisha Patterson Brown

At this year’s Big Game, NAMI extended our partnership with Dan Marino’s Stay Healthy Zone and announced a new yearlong partnership with Off The Field NFL Wives Association. In this episode, NAMI CEO Daniel H. Gillison Jr. talks with President of Off The Field NFL Wives Association, Tenisha Patterson Brown. They discuss what led her to mental health advocacy, the unique experiences of NFL players and their spouses, caregiving for a loved one with mental health conditions, and more. 

You can find additional episodes of this NAMI podcast and others at nami.org/podcast.

"Hope Starts With Us" is a podcast by NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. It is hosted by NAMI CEO Daniel H. Gillison, Jr.

Co-executive produced by Traci Coulter and Connor Larsen.

Transcript

0:00

You are more than what you do. You are a whole person. What do you like? What's your passion? What do you do off the field that can translate into something that's sustainable? Welcome to Hope Starts with Us, a podcast by NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I'm Dan Gillison, NAMI's CEO. NAMI started this podcast because we believe that hope starts with us. Hope starts with us talking about mental health. Hope starts with us making information accessible. Hope starts with us providing resources and practical advice. Hope starts with us sharing our stories. And finally, hope starts with us breaking the stigma. If you or a loved one is struggling with a mental health condition and have been looking for hope. We made this podcast for you. Hope starts with all of us. Hope is a collective. We hope that each episode, with each conversation brings you into that collective, so you know that you are not alone. We are so fortunate to have this guest today with us, Tenisha Patterson Brown, a business and legal consultant and entrepreneur, owner of a Tropical Smoothie franchise and True Vegan Creamery, co-author of multiple books, philanthropist, executive director of Every Brown Bag Foundation, and now President of Off The Field NFL Wives Association. NAMI's yearlong-- new yearlong partnership with off the field NFL Wives Association to raise mental health awareness kicked off partnership leading up to the big game in San Francisco. The kickoff included the Legacy and Lights Awards Brunch, featuring a mental health panel, and the 25th annual Off The Field Super Bowl charity fashion show sponsored by friends of NAMI and Lululemon, plus appearances on Radio Row discussing the importance of mental health awareness with television, radio, and podcast personalities, and host. Tenisha, thank you so much for joining our podcast. And would you tell our listeners a little bit about Tenisha and what led you to becoming a mental health advocate and leader of Off The Field NFL Wives Association? Thank you so much for having me. It is a pleasure. It is an honor. This means so much for me and my family and then also the NFL families that I serve. Being a part of the NFL family, it's a unique group. And being a pro athlete's wife, is a unique position. And when I say that there is a position of privilege, but it is also a position of responsibility. And we have a lot of people that follow us, who listen to what we are, you know, what we recommend and what we do, but also who watch us and want to see us as human beings. And so for me, one of the biggest things that I push forward and why I really wanted to lead off the field, one, because I recognized there was a gap in what we needed. And also elevating our members. We are caregivers. We are mothers. We are wives. We are daughters. We are lawyers, we're doctors. All the things. And managing all of this while managing our own wellness. And so for me, looking at mental health and looking at the whole person and the holistic energy of the NFL family dynamic from the husband and the wife and, and also the children, this, having a mental health partner, was just so important. We've seen so many instances where mental health is the afterthought. It's always about the physical, right? The training, the nutrition. But this is-- this is what we need for our mental and emotional. And so I'm very excited about the NAMI partnership for 2026 and for hopefully future years to come. We're excited about it as well. And I just want to say on behalf of NAMI, thank you for being such an incredible partner. And, we're extremely excited about collaborating with you. We understand the role of not only being a caregiver, but not getting lost in, and as the, as the as significant partner of a professional athlete. As you mentioned, you know, managing your own wellness, and also making sure that, you know, the children are well cared for. It's very interesting about our professional athletes that we hold them up to this standard and we see them as the pro athlete. It's what they do. It's not who they are. And the partners get to see who they are when they're not on that field. So thank you for what you do. Thank you for looking at the whole person. And thank you for caring about your mental well-being and that of the other NFL wives and your, your, significant others who are playing in the in the NFL. Would love to back up a second and ask you because we have so many people that, you know, I'm sure there's not a day that doesn't go by, you don't meet someone that is interested about sports management. So would you tell us more about your experience in sports management and what insights did that impart on you in terms of the mental health of athletes and their support systems? Well, I will kind of-- I'll start back 20 years ago. I will not age myself, but I will embrace it. I love it. I started working in sports, and I was in recruiting for football and basketball, and I took it very seriously. When a parent, a mom in particular, brought their kids to school, and I promised them that they would do well, that I would take care of them, make sure they graduated, make sure that they would be upstanding human beings. And I saw them for who they were and who they were going to be. And I took it very-- it was very personal for me. I'm meeting with 17, 18-year-olds making their life decision that could honestly impact them for the rest of their lives. And so for me, when I looked at them as human beings and not just a commodity, I saw that they needed more than just playing time. They needed more than a yes person to tell them that everything that they were saying was right. And so I became a big sister to every single recruit that I engaged with. I made sure that they were going to class. I made sure that they were doing the things they were supposed to do. If they needed advice, I gave it to them. If I needed to feed them. Now, that's no longer in NCAA compliance violation, but at the time--there you have it. And I took it very personal. And so I did not go into college thinking that I was going to work in sports. That was not the plan. I had every intention of going in and being a doctor. And then I realized very quickly that I didn't have the stomach for it. And, and so, I went into business management and saying I'm going to just be a CEO. That's where my--I was going to be sitting where you're sitting. Right? And then the love and passion for seeing the game, to seeing the business behind a game, seeing the players, I took it upon myself to not only learn about recruiting and the game itself, because I could tell you anything about the game. I read plays, I watched film of players. I knew what a five star athlete look like. Also even if he wasn't rated as a five star, I knew whether or not he was going to be successful. But I also did marketing and sponsorship. I did game day operations, and I took it upon myself to become so well-knowledge in the game of athletics. Right, the career, that--can anyone tell me what about a particular position or a particular role? I knew a lot about a lot of different things. And I took the advice of one of my mentors who said to me. I asked him, I said, why am I out here selling programs? And he said, you need to learn everything because that makes you more marketable. Didn't realize that those same sponsorship experiences that he gave me in college translates now with Off The Field and how I'm engaging with sponsors. What are they like? What are, you know, what are some programing and things that we can, you know, incorporate, but building out Off The Field. And so I say specifically, when I started off in sports, I decided in my mind I was going to be an agent. And there was one woman and she was an agent for kickers. And I said, I don't know if that's going to be my life because I don't want someone calling me at 4 o'clock in the morning once I saw my husband going through the process. And then I said, you know what? Let me do one up. It's more than what they're doing on the field. I need to focus on who they are going to be off the field, because we all know the NFL is not for long. So I took it upon myself to create a business, to create a platform to educating players on, you are more than what you do. You are a whole person. What do you like? What's your passion? What do you do off the field that can translate into something that can make you--that's sustainable? So that is--I always say specifically, I do have a passion for women's sports, girls in sports-- to make, to learn at every corner, every opportunity that you have, whether it's interning or shadowing someone to learn. But don't think that sports management is easy because it's not. It is-- everybody wants to work in sports, right? And understand that, you know, when you work in sports, you're going to be poor. Let me just say that. But it is also very rewarding. And you learn so much. So that is a round about of just how I ended up being here. God made this role for me, I will say that. Because I was not looking to be president, I will say that. I just wanted to help. And then since I've become president, my role is to really change the narrative of what it means to be a pro athlete's wife. Wow. You know, you are where you are supposed to be at the right time. And, that is something that is important to acknowledge. You know, coming from your background, being a recruiter for basketball and football athletes, to now being the president of the organization. Kudos to you. And sports management is not for the faint of heart. It is actually not for the faint of heart. It looks good on the cover of a book, but once you open it up, it's a lot of work. And that's the same thing with our athletes. Because, you know, you to your point of what you said, as a recruiter and, you know, talking to the parents, the mom or the dad or both parents about these young men, you are recruiting or young athletes, excuse me. You know, you said you saw them for who they were. It's interesting you say that because at NAMI, we say we meet people where they are, not where we want them to be. So, it's interesting how this comes together. So, you know, thank you for that. And I want to ask you, in your work, you've discussed Tenisha, what it means to care about players' development as men and businessmen so that their careers as professional athletes don't become their identities. Why do you think that is so important? It's critical because we live in a high risk career. Your life could change within 30 seconds on the field. And I speak from personal experience. My husband was playing in a game, and he was on his way to getting four sacks. He was hot. He hits the player, immediately dislocates his wrist. He is out for the season. Completely changed the trajectory of his entire career. And so understanding fundamentally-- and I saw that also in college where you had these five star recruits come in and they're supposed to be all the things and one moment, one choice, minutes in time, change their entire lives. And so every client that I work with, I operate in a space of, whatever I know you will know. I have no fear of you replacing me because it's not the knowledge that you are paying for. It is the relationship. It's the encouragement. It's the growth. It's the support. Because every day my main focus is speaking life into anybody that I engage with, because I feel like that is my ministry. But when I educate my clients, I always say to them, I don't want you to go into a room, into a business meeting because you have all the money and don't know what is happening in the meeting. Don't sit back and let someone speak for you. You need to be able to know what they're talking about, who they're talking about, what's going on, because it's not beneficial to you in the long run to be oblivious to what's happening. So I take the time. I break it down. I don't speak legalese to them. I break it down and I say, here is a strategy based off of what you want to do. Now, you help me work through what you want to do because it's a process. There's learning. It's just like law school, right? You're learning how to think. And I always hold them out as I'm your coach. Let me coach you. Here's a playbook. I want you to learn the playbook. Don't just come over and think that I'm going to give you the answers. I want you to learn the playbook. I'm going to create. You tell me what you want to do. I'm going to create the playbook for you. And I want to be able to execute and coach you through this process. And my players-- and they leave, right? But they always come back when they need to go into the next level because they understand, I want to leave them better off like than where I found them. And I think a lot of times agents, managers, people who work with athletes want to cripple them so that they can keep a job. And that's not how I operate. You're trying to really be very transparent and also be able to build their competency so they can go in that room feeling very comfortable and knowledgeable and not just a postage stamp. That's really cool. Thank you for sharing that and your intentionality in that. And, I wanted to take you into the mental piece for a second. Family members are often on the frontlines of supporting a loved one's mental health. I mean, they're clearly on the front lines. The new NAMI Family Caregiver HelpLine was created exactly for that reason. For NFL wives, supporting their husbands' mental health can require resilience and strength in the face of challenging transitions and high pressure moments. Kind of like when you were mentioning your husband and this unexpected wrist injury that changed the trajectory of his year. I mean, he's getting sacks, he's getting the numbers, he's getting the stats. And then all of a sudden there's this challenging transition. What advice do you have for other NFL wives, or even for our listeners at home who may be caregivers for someone in their own family? I always use-- I have an analogy that I use that kind of helps people process where when you see them. And I always compare athletes to superheroes, right? In particular Iron Man and I say this-- I'm a Marvel fan, so let me just throw that out there. And I say that for a reason. Iron Man, if you are anybody who's familiar with him, has this, his suit that he wears and that suit and that protective armor makes him larger than life. Fans love him. They see him. Oh, my gosh, they're over the moon. No one can touch him, right? If you compare it when he takes off that suit, he is a very sensitive man, complex man that is has all of these things, right, he's living with and grappling with. And it's the same with players. On game day, they put on the armor. They are about 2 to 3 inches taller once they put their cleats on, right? They weigh a lot more. They have this armor, these helmets, the lights, all the things that make them superheroes. The fans hyping them up and they become these characters that they are in this role for years, decades, even if for those who have started playing when they were children. They take it off or it's taken away from them because they retire or they have a season injury, a career-ending injury, or whatever the thing may be, and they don't know how to find themselves in between. And then you as wives, depending on the season in which you came into their lives or even, you know, family members, right? You don't know how they're going to respond because this has been their identity for so long. So then now you are hit with this person is really a different person. They are settling into who they are outside of the sport, and it happens across every sport, I will say. But my advice to them is to be patient, to not compare your person, right, to someone else, to understand that it is a journey right? That they are in a transformation like a butterfly, right? Because that's all they've known. But also having clear boundaries and understanding the need to seek help. It's okay if you cannot do it alone. Don't ignore the signs of depression, because what I've seen, and I'm not a clinician, but what I've seen is that the transition is very difficult, not just for the players. And even if you're going from team to team, it doesn't matter. It is for the families, it's the children, it's the wives. To just be patient and be okay with seeking help and find that sisterhood. And that's why Off The Field is so important. I will tell you that one of the things that drove me to creating OTF Care, which is our arm where we care specifically for our members, was because we had members who their children were on the brink of having a mental breakdown. They didn't know their husbands had completely checked out. They're doing it by themselves. They're running the soccer. They're, you know, making sure the house is taken care of. They're working. And it's a separation and that burden on the wife, right? Or the significant other. And they're--the care is always geared towards the men and never at the women. And so understanding that we had to do something about it. And that's why we created OTF Cares. And so that's where we pour into our members. We have, you know, one of our, our director of OTF Cares actually worked with NAMI before, in her previous time. And she takes the calls and she walks them through, and she serves as a support for our members to help them through the process. But I would say lean in on your sisters because we are here. And also the resources that we now have available. Thanks to you all for really being able to provide those things for when we didn't have an option to call. Now we have that option. Well, we are so appreciative. And you mentioned OTF Cares and thank you for that because it is about community. It is about caring. We say something at NAMI, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. So thank you for setting that up. And as we're talking having this conversation, it brings to mind that you know that NFL athlete, it's not just what they do. It is who they are. Because you know, no matter whether they move teams or not, to your point, they're still, you know, recognized as a NFL football player. And many times they're recognized in public even when they're out with their families. And it's just-- and it becomes rote. And then all of a sudden, one day it's over. And it's like, was that what I did? Or was it who I was? And I've even seen that with people in the corporate environment where they've been working somewhere and had been very successful, matriculated through. And then after 20 years, the time has changed and they're no longer there. And all of a sudden they're like, who am I? So let me ask you this. What is your-- Tenisha, what's your favorite part of raising mental health awareness in the NFL? I love the thought-- well, just really pouring back into our members, our NFL families, erasing this stigma of that you can't seek help because somehow, some way that makes you weak. You are a champion if you are talking about the holistic, you know, wellness because, that's just as important. If your mind is not right, then nothing else is going to be right. And I also, I don't want to lose another player. I don't. And that's just the bottom line. And it pains me to see someone who is hurting so badly, and people deny you are not hurting because you have all these things, right? And someone like myself, who is such a high achiever, and understanding the level of excellence in which you have to operate on in order to be that type of an athlete, I understand completely how heavy that is. A lot of my board members are former collegiate athletes. One of them actually, was this close to the Olympics, being Olympian and to understand that they understand because they're married to these high level athletes. And then they were high level athletes. They went through the transition as well. This has been my identity for 15, 20 years. What am I doing? And then not only that, now my whole life is being absorbed into my spouse's life to where I'm just a wife, right? That's the narrative in which--that's what I mean where it's going away from the--changing that narrative is because I am, for years, I was viewed as Everette Brown's wife, despite all of the things, right? And so for me, my favorite part is really as I just pull it all back together, is really bringing awareness, creating a shift, pushing people forward and to having that holistic care and just being fully transparent. If you read any of my books, it would all--I'm an open book. I'm fully transparent about life because I think you have to be that way. In order for people to fully grow and understand who you are. And it helps so many people. So I am going to speak about it. I'm going to encourage people to make it a part of your whole wellness. When you talk about self-care, that should be a top three, if not the first. Self-care. Yep, yep. So I wanted to ask you something else. And, we have a couple of them, retired NFL players that are ambassadors. I was on Radio Row one year with a couple of these gentlemen and one of the young men, and I call them young because they retired at 30. Even before they turned 30. So, you know, these are these are young men, and they're out of the NFL as you as you mentioned. NFL, not for long. So, one of the questions or one of the statements that one of the athletes made in the interview says, you know, I want to take you back to "did you know?" and there's some things that you guys don't know about the life of that NFL player. Did you know that when we go into the locker room, there's a list of guys that are coming out, if we're hurt, to try out for our position every week? They're bringing people who come out for our position. You guys don't see that. You don't know that. And that is a stressor. That is--that is anxiety. Yes, you have a contract, but someone is playing for your-- someone is practicing, trying out for your position every week. So I said that to say that was very revealing for me. More important, it was adding to the conversation about the anxiety and the stress of being that professional athlete. What don't people know about mental health, the lives of NFL players, and their families that you wish that the general public knew? I would say, foremost, that we are regular people. It just so happens that our husbands play football that is on a national stage. Well, international on stage now. But we are regular people. We have the same struggles. You know, we are in the sandwich generation. Some of us, we're taking care of parents and taking care of children. We have issues where we struggle with creating a family, like my husband and I and our infertility struggles and all that. It doesn't matter. We are regular people with regular struggles. And I think sometimes, and often people say, well, you have this luxury of living this way. And we do, right? And we're so grateful for the opportunity. But we also have regular human beings and we have feelings and we have anxiety. We have stressors. And it's amplified because we are in a public space, a public platform. So it's even more and then, even as we look at our children now, we have a lot of members who their kids play collegiate sports and they're dealing with NIL and all of that. That's a whole other level of stress, where you're trying to-- how do you protect your child and shield them from all of these things, but also allow them to monetize what they're doing? Because that's what you want to for yourself if you were collegiate athlete and for your husband. And so it's a lot. And I think just people understanding that we are just regular people. Yeah. It's real. It is. It's real. And you know, you're competing as-- you're competing in your field, and competition looks different, but it's still competition. And you gotta bring your best all the time. And then what happens when you, when you go home and, you know, what happens when the music stops. And I was thinking about you when you mentioned that you were a recruiter for football and for basketball and football in college. And I was thinking about--I wrote down here one of my notes, NIL, because I would believe that recruiting today would be so different with NIL. I would just venture to say that would have been such a different dynamic for you as a recruiter of young people to come to universities. I will tell you this. I have been a proponent for NIL before it was even a thing. Back when I was doing recruiting, I saw first hand that you had players who had no food. I mean, that was literally, whatever they got from the cafeteria was the food they were wanting to eat, and that was it. And for me, I said, how can I see these universities making billions and you have players that have no food? And that didn't math to me. The math was not mathing. And I was like, hey, I feel like they need to get paid. No one was listening to me at the time. However, I was a champion for NIL and do I believe there needs to be some level of regulatory? I mean, that's the lawyer in me. Yes, I do think there needs to be something to balance it out, because I think the deadly combination of NIL and Transfer Portal leaves a lot of players like in the mix. Right? And unprotected. And that's a whole other conversation that we can talk about for hours. But I think when you take it into consideration how young these players are, and this is why I bring it up when it comes to the mental health space, you have a 17-year-old going from a small town, population 300, you know, barely making ends meet, to now that 17-year-old transcends into making$6 million a year. You are on everything. You have expectations. You're like--every decision is made upon what's going to happen to the university level. It's a heavy, heavy load for a 17 year old. And so, for me, I think it's going to be interesting to see how this, the future, you know, these particular athletes that are coming up in NIL world, excuse me, and their needs that they're going to have for the support and the mental health support and how we pour into them, because I think it's going to be, it's going to be interesting, I should say that. And then looking at California athletes, because they're younger. You can get NIL at very young age in California. You have some kids that are 12 years old with 100,000 followers. That's heavy. That is heavy. And you know, what does that look like for them in in their later years? So this is all about, you know, the full athlete. And the full family in many cases. So there's, there's more to discuss there, more to actually build out. So this is, this is wonderful. And, I am so happy that we're having this conversation. And what we do to initiate at the end is, we ask each of our podcast guest one big kind of provoking question.

And I'd love to ask you that question: 32:09

The world can be and is a difficult place, and sometimes it can be hard to hold on to hope. That's why each episode we dedicate the last couple of minutes of our podcast to a special segment called Hold On to Hope.

So here's the million dollar question: 32:25

What helps you, Tenisha, hold on to hope? My daughter. My daughter is the living form. I always say she is my heart and soul in living form. I always say that. I-- my husband and I, it took us five years to get her. A lot of loss. A lot of struggles that, honestly, we probably needed NAMI during that time. Full transparency. But when I look at her face, I recognize that there's always sunshine in the morning. And she is everything. I can't have prayed for a better child. And so she's the best parts, I always say, of her dad and I. And, so when I see, like, anytime I think that something is not, "Oh, my gosh, it's so hard right now," but I will go through that journey a million times again to get her. Congratulations. Thank you. Your journey was incredibly valuable to who you are now. And as a mom, and I would tell you that, you know, the word that I melt is when my daughter says, "dad." That's just-- and my wife always says, if she says it. And I'm like, yeah, that. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. When she says it. So, I understand. So thank you. You're a true girl's dad. Straight up. No joke. You know, this has been Hope Starts With Us, a podcast by NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. If you're looking for mental health resources, you're not alone. To connect with the NAMI HelpLine and find local resources, visit NAMI.org/help. Text 'NAMI' to 62640 or dial (800)-950-NAMI (6264). Or if you are a caregiver for someone experiencing mental health conditions, the new NAMI Family Caregiver HelpLine is here to support you. Connect with the NAMI Family Caregiver HelpLine by dialing 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) and press "4" to connect with a skilled family caregiver helpline specialist. Or you can text family to 62640. Or if you are experiencing an immediate suicide, substance use, or mental health crisis, please call or text 988 to speak with a trained support specialist or visit 988lifeline.org. I'm Dan Gillison, your host. Thanks for listening and be well.